JAYADRATHA-VADHA PARVA: Chapter 150

The remorse of Duryodhana

संजय उवाच सैन्धवे निहते राजन् पुत्रस्तव सुयोधनः। अश्रुपूर्णमुखो दीनो निरुत्साहो द्विषज्जये॥
Sanjaya said O monarch, the king of Sindhu being slain, your son Suyodhana, with his eyes full of tears, became (greatly) dejected and despaired of defeating his enemies.

दुर्मना निःश्वसन् दुष्टो भग्नदंष्ट्र इवोरगः। आगस्कृत् सर्वलोकस्य पुत्रस्तेऽऽर्तिं परामगात्॥
(And) with his mind weighted down with sorrow and breathing hot sighs like a snake whose (poison) tooth has been broken that offender, against the whole world, felt excruciating agony (if mind).

दृष्ट्वा तत्कदनं घोरं स्वबलस्य कृतं महत्। जिष्णुना भीमसेनेन सात्वतेन च संयुगे।॥
Seeing that Jishnu, Bhimasena and Satvatta were making a great and dreadful havoc of his army.

स विवर्णः कृशो दीनो वाष्पविप्लुतलोचनः। अमन्यतार्जुनसमो न योद्धा भुवि विद्यते॥
He turned thin and pale and became (greatly) dispirited. And with his eyes filled with tears he began to think that there was no warrior on earth who mighty be match for Arjuna.

न द्रोणो न च राधेयो नाश्वत्थामा कृपो न च। क्रुद्धस्य समरे स्थातुं पर्याप्ता इति मारिष॥
Neither Drona, nor the son of Radha, nor Ashvatthama nor Kripa is capable of standing before him (Arjuna) when he is angry, O worshipful one.

निर्जित्य हि रणे पार्थः सर्वान् मम महारथान्। अवधीत् सैन्धवं संख्ये न च कश्चिदवारयत्॥
(And Suyodhana, thought within himself.) No was able to resist him when having defeated all the great car-warriors on my side, Partha slew the king of Sindhus.

सर्वथा हतमेवेदं कौरवाणां महद् बलम्। न ह्यस्य विद्यते त्राता साक्षादपि पुरंदरः॥
The son of Pandu has totally destroyed my vast army. (I think) even Purandara himself in person cannot protect it.

यमुपाश्रित्य संग्रामे कृतः शस्त्रमुद्यमः। स को निर्जितः संख्ये हतश्चैव जयद्रथः॥
Even Karna, depending upon whom, I had engaged in this passage at arms in battle, has been defeated in encounter and Jayadratha slain.

यस्य वीर्यं समाश्रित्य शमं याचन्तमच्युतम्। तृणवत् तमहं मन्ये स कर्णो निर्जितो युधि॥
Relying upon whose prowess 1 regarded that undeteriorating one (i.e., Krishna) who sued for peace, (something) like a straw, that Karna has been defeated in battle.

एवं कान्तमना राजन्नुपायाद् द्रोणमीक्षितुम्। आगस्कृत् सर्वलोकस्य पुत्रस्ते भरतर्षभ॥
Thus dejected at heart, O king, O the most exalted of the Bharatas, your son, the offender against the whole world, came to seen Drona.

ततस्तत्सर्वमाचख्यौ कुरूणां वैशसं महत्। परान् विजयतश्चापि धार्तराष्ट्रानं निमजतः॥
He then told (Drona) all about the great slaughter of the Kurus, the victory of the enemies and the great disaster of the followers of Dhritarashtra.

पश्य मूर्धाभिषिक्तानामाचार्य कदनं महत्। कृत्वा प्रमुखतः शूरं भीष्मं मम पितामहम्॥
“O Preceptor," (Duryodhana (continued), "Behold this great carnage of those whose heads have undergone the sacred coronation bath, headed by my heroic grandsire Bhisma,

तं निहत्य प्रलुब्धोऽयं शिखण्डी पूर्णमानसः। पाञ्चाल्यैः सहितः सर्वैः सेनाग्रमभिवर्तते॥
The covetous Shiknandi, having killed him, has got his desire fulfilled and is (now) stationed at the head of his troops together with all the Panchalas.

अपरश्चापि दुर्धर्षः शिष्यस्ते सव्यसाचिना। अक्षौहिणी: सप्त हत्वा हतो राजा जयद्रथः॥
Having destroyed seven Akshauhinis (of our army), another invincible disciple of yours, viz., Savyasachi has killed king Jayadratha.

अस्मद्विजयकामानां सुहृदामुपकारिणाम्। ॥ गन्तास्मि कथमानृण्यं गतानां यमसादनम्॥
Those allies of ours, desirous of our victory and welfare, have gone to the abode of Yama. How can I repay the debt (of obligation) that I owe to them?

ये मदर्थं परीप्सन्ते वसुधां वसुधाधिपाः। ते हित्वा वसुधैश्वर्यं वसुधामधिशेरते॥
Those lords of the earth, who desired for me the sovereignty of the earth, having abandoned all earthly prosperity, are lying on the earth.

सोऽहं कापुरुषः कृत्वा मित्राणां क्षयमीदृशम्। अश्वमेधसहस्रेण पावितुं न समुत्सहे॥
Coward that I am I have caused this great slaughter of my friends, and (therefore) cannot encourage myself to believe that I shall be able to purify myself by celebrating even a hundred horse-sacrifices.

मम लुब्धस्य पापस्य तथा धर्मापचायिनः। व्यायामेन जिगीषन्तः प्राप्ता वैवस्वतक्षयम्॥
Desirous of securing victory (for me who am covetous and sinful and a rebel against virtue, these (kings) have gone to the abode of the sons of Vivasvata.

कथं पतितवृत्तस्य पृथिवी सुहृदां दुहः। विवरं नाशकद् दातुं मम पार्थिवसंसदि।॥
I have fallen from virtue; an evil-minded and an enemy to my friends as I am why does not the earth yield me a hole (to bury me in).

योऽहं रुधिरसिक्ताङ्गं राज्ञां मध्ये पितामहम्। किं वक्ष्यत्ति हि दुर्धर्षः समेत्य परलोकजित्॥
Among the kings, my grandsire with bloodred eyes (lies on an arrowy bed) what will that invincible hero, who has conquered the next world, say when he will meet me?

जलसंधं महेष्वासं पश्य सात्यकिना हतम्। मदर्थमुद्यतं शूरं प्राणांस्त्यक्त्वा महारथम्॥
See that the great bowman Jalasandha has been slain by Satyaki. That hero and mighty car-warrior exerting his utmost for my sake, has (at last) lain down his life.

काम्बोज निहतं दृष्ट्वा तथालम्बुषमेव च। अन्यान् बहूंश्च सुहृदो जीवितार्थोऽद्य को मम॥
Beholding the king of Kamboja, Alambusha and many other friends lose their lives, what is the good of preserving my life?

न्यायच्छन्तो हताः शूरो मदर्थे येऽपराङ्मुखाः। यतमानाः परं शक्त्या विजेतुमहितान् मम॥
Those unretreating warriors after exerting their utmost to vanquish my enemies and fighting for my sake have (at last) sacrificed their lives.

तेषां गत्वाहमानृण्यमद्य शक्त्या परंतप। तर्पयिष्यामि तानेव जलेन यमुनामनु॥
I will today repay the debts I owe them by exerting my utmost in the battle) and will then offer oblation of Jamuna water to them.

सत्यं ते प्रतिजानामि सर्वशस्त्रभृतां वर। इष्टापूर्तेन च शपे वीर्येण च सुतैरपि॥
O the foremost of those that wield weapons, I promise truly and swear by my good acts, my prowess and my sons.

निहत्य तान् रणे सर्वान् पञ्चालान् पाण्डवैः सह। शान्ति लब्धास्मि तेषां वा रणे गन्ता सलोकताम्॥
That I will either obtain peace of mind by destroying the Panchalas together with the Pandavas or I will depart to the regions where they (i.e., my) friends have gone by being myself slain in battle.

सोऽहं तत्र गमिष्यामि यत्र ते पुरुषर्षभाः। हता मदर्थे संग्रामे युध्यमानाः किरीटिना॥
I will go there whither those foremost of men, slain for may sake in battle by the fighting Kiriti, have departed.

न हीदानीं सहाया मे परीप्सन्त्यनुपस्कृताः। श्रेयो हि पाण्डून् मन्यन्ते न तथास्मान् महाभुज॥
Seeing they are not well protected our partisans are no longer desirous of supporting use. They deem the sons of Pandu are preferable to us, O mighty armed one.

स्वयं हि मृत्युर्विहितः सत्यसंधेन संयुगे। भवानुपेक्षां कुरुते शिष्यत्वादर्जुनस्य हि॥
That truth-abiding one (Bhishma) himself ordained his own death in battle. And your respectable self too does not exert your best because Arjuna is your disciple.

अतो विनिहताः सर्वे येऽस्मजयचिकीर्षवः। कर्णमेव तु पश्यामि सम्प्रत्यस्मजयैषिणम्॥
It is, on this account, that all those who were desirous of our victory have been slain. At present I seen that Karna alone is anxious for our success.

यो हि मित्रमविज्ञाय याथातथ्येन मन्दधीः। मित्रार्थे योजयत्येनं तस्य सोऽर्थोऽवसीदति॥
That man, of dull understanding who without the exercise of proper discretion, takes one for a friend and employs him in actions which can only be performed by real friends, has his object frustrated.

तादृग् रूपं कृतमिदं मम कार्यं सुहृत्तमैः। मोहाल्लब्धस्य पापस्य जिह्मस्य धनमीहतः॥
Covetous, sinful, crooked-minded and greedy of riches that I am, this affair of mine has been managed in this way by (so-called) best friend.

हतो जयद्रथश्चैव सौमदत्तिश्च वीर्यवान्। अभीषाहा शूरसेनाः शिबयोऽथ वसातयः॥
King Jayadratha, that powerful monarch, the son of Somadatta, the Ameeshahas, the Surasenas, the Curas and the Vysatis have (all) been slain.

सोऽहमद्य गमिष्यामि यत्र ते पुरुषर्षभाः। हता मदर्थे संग्रामे युध्यमानाः किरीटिना॥
I will today go there whither those best of the Bharatas, slain for my sake in battle by the fighting Kiriti, have gone.

न हि मे जीवितेनार्थस्तानृते पुरुषर्षभान्। आचार्यः पाण्डुपुत्राणामनुजानातु नो भवान्॥
There is no good of my life without those foremost of men. O preceptor of the sons of Pandu, permit me to do this.